Comparing is Despairing

Having spent some time with girls and ladies recently my ear has been observing the words that come out of our girls’ mouths so easily...especially women...especially growing girls who are on the cusp of developing into the beautiful women that they are to become! “Oh my goodness she is so pretty...I’d love to look like that!”

Or “wow she’s amazing at dancing...I wish I had taken up dance!”

“Look at her figure...I hate her!!”

And so on and so on! My hearts sinks with every word...especially when I hear young hearts proclaiming such things.

I learnt a very long time ago that I was NEVER going to be anyone else so my job was to be the best ME I could be!

Before really grasping this knowledge, I was “THE QUEEN” at mimicking other girls and women! In fact at one point in my life, I think I even developed a Mancunian accent to be like the girl I was playing with on holiday. I had becoming like others down to an art. This was perfect for my acting but for life this was something I had to unlearn!

First I had to realise why I did this...I finally understood, like a wave one day it washed over me, it became unbelievably clear as I came to the true but painful realisation...

…I didn’t believe that who I was was ENOUGH and so I was seeking my qualities, character and identity in others! My worth was attached to how good I should look in order to gain attention!


In now my 40th year on earth I can hand on heart say...I really love me! It’s taken work and a reconditioning of my thinking but I can look at women today and think: “goodness girl you look great” but I don’t compare myself with her...there is no point it’s a total waste of a thought...what’s the point?

Let me pass the baton to you now! You are you, and who you are is ENOUGH! You are the most amazing you that you can be. There is not another you on the whole of planet earth which makes you YOUNIQUE!! There is no one on planet earth that has your YOUNIQUE fingerprints.

I challenge you that every time you look in the mirror you say something positive about yourself. Do it for as long as you can and whenever a negative word tries to break into your brain, speak your these words

“I am unique...I am loved...who I am is enough...I am going to be the best me I can be”.

You are a Queen!!!

With love from

Nicky nix xxx

Lewis and Haase Queen